cut paper collage I did today
Let’s say that a woman told you that a man harassed her. And then another woman told you that that man harassed her. And then another woman told you that that man harassed her. And then another woman told you that that man harassed her.
Let’s say that you know some of those women, but maybe not others. Let’s say that you respect some of those women, but maybe not others. Let’s say that you demand proof.
How does someone prove a pervasive attitude of sexual entitlement? How can you pinpoint the precise moment when a pleasant conversation turns into something threatening and unwanted? How does a woman record the entire context of a comment - a context that spans a relationship, a friendship, a year, two years, more?
Let’s say you decide the proof isn’t enough. He’s never said anything weird in front of you. You know some women who like him. He’s a good guy, you think. You’re a good guy - you wouldn’t like or support or enjoy somebody who’s not a good guy, you’re pretty sure. After all, a man’s entire reputation is on the line.
And it all turns out fine, because after that, no more women tell you that a man harassed them.
1. Lay on the floor of your shower until you can breathe again. Water will always love to love your skin.
2. Start writing with the intention of filling up one page. Write until your pen stops working.
3. Reread a book that once made you cry. Learn something new on every page. Notice how different chapter make you sad. Notice how the book didn’t change and grow; you did.
4. Sleep with your windows open. You can hear both the rain and boys drunkenly singing Frank Sinatra on their deck. Both are equally good.
5. Don’t forget that honey will always taste sweet, but the best way to eat it is off your fingers, laughing.
6. Remember that, sometimes, getting out of bed is enough.